Confidence is Calm, It’s Ego That’s Noisy

Aug 18

When you think of a confident woman, what comes to mind?

Many of us have been fed the idea that confidence looks like loudness — brashness, boldness, or being the center of attention. We’ve seen it confused with ego, arrogance, rudeness, and disrespectfulness. For many of us, that's not the kind of person we want to be so we learn behaviors that are the exact opposite — we learn to shrink ourselves instead.

But real confidence? The kind that’s lasting and rooted in authenticity? It doesn’t have to yell. It doesn’t demand attention.

Real confidence is calm. Ego is what’s noisy.

This idea resonated deeply with me when I first heard it — not just because I believed the myth once too, but because I’ve been learning to unlearn it.

I used to think I had to “fake it” — overperform, overcompensate, overextend — to seem confident in spaces where I felt unseen. But as I’ve grown in my personal journey (and through leading The Baus Ladies Network), I’ve learned a truth that I now share often:

Real confidence comes from within. It has nothing to prove to anyone.

So what does that look like in everyday life?

6 Ways Calm Confidence Shows Up

1. It doesn’t seek attention.
True confidence doesn’t chase attention — it radiates assurance. A confident woman doesn’t need validation from others. She knows her worth.

2. It's not trying to impress anyone.
True confidence isn't about impressing anyone. It's about being comfortable in your own skin, and embracing who you are without trying to change yourself for others.

3. It uplifts instead of competes.
Confidence isn’t threatened by someone else’s win. It celebrates collaboration and recognizes that another woman’s success doesn’t subtract from your own.

4. It lives in alignment.
Calm confidence comes from knowing your values — and living them. It doesn’t waiver when trends shift or when others question your worth, with opinions or criticisms Your inner values are like a compass that stays steady and always points North.

5. It’s not performative.
There’s no need to posture, pose, or pretend. Confidence is showing up as your whole self — even when that self is still growing.

6. It welcomes growth.
You don’t have to be perfect to be powerful. Real confidence allows for mistakes, makes room for grace, and keeps showing up anyway.

How to Build Unshakable Confidence — From the Inside Out

Confidence is a muscle — and it’s one we can all strengthen. You don’t have to become someone else. You just have to reconnect with yourself.

Here are some tips and tools I've found helpful:

Practice gratitude.
Take stock of the good — even the small stuff. Gratitude helps you stop measuring yourself against others and start seeing the value in your own journey.
Set small, intentional goals.
Each goal you meet reminds you that you’re capable, you’re consistent, and you can be trusted to follow through.
Care for your whole self.
Confidence doesn’t come from running on empty. Prioritize your mental, emotional, and physical health — because a well-supported woman is a powerful one.
Watch your inner voice.
That self-talk? It matters. Interrupt the spiral of negative thoughts and reframe them with kindness, grace, and positive affirmations.
Stay grounded in your values.
Define what matters most — your purpose, your vision, your legacy. Let that be your north star when doubt creeps in.
Find your circle.
Surround yourself with voices that uplift, not undermine. Whether it’s mentors, peers, or your BLN community — stay connected to people who see your worth.

Final Thought

The more calm confidence you cultivate, the more freedom you create — for yourself, and for others. Let’s stop confusing volume with value, and start redefining what real power looks like.

Because the strongest women I know? They don’t have to shout. They know who they are, and their presence speaks for itself.

And yours does too.

→ Want more tools to build authentic confidence? Start here or Join the Baus Beacon Newsletter to get regular tips, resources, and support.